For a variety of reasons (which, by the way, my voice recognition software often interprets as “for a Friday of reasons”) many of these items never make the final cut.

And so let us take a moment to recognize and to celebrate what was almost good enough in 2009.

1. Authonomy

HarperCollins is experimenting with an online slush pile/social network/American Idol contest called Authonomy. While trying to write about this site I could never figure out if it was the Future or merely a curiosity born out of fear and desperation. (I suppose it could be both!)

2. Will Work For Praise

This BusinessWeek article caught my eye because it talks about — at least in a tangential way — part of the dark side of being a writer. As the article notes, we’ll happily do creative work for free as long as it gets us a little attention. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to take this concept and talk about larger economic and cultural forces or merely riff on how sad our profession has become, so I just let it go.

3. Self-Publishing Review

For a while I was working on a trend piece about the coming legitimacy of self-publishing. The point I was going to make was something about how if mainstream publishers continue to offer their authors less and less — and if self-publishing can acquire the rigors of traditional publishing — then our whole conception of what “real” publishing is will change. But I only got as far as finding this cool link for a website that seeks to elevate the standards of self-publishing.

4. The Book is dead, the Book will live on, blah, blah, blah

Somewhere in the middle of 2009 I decided to swear off the whole FUTURE OF THE BOOK conversation. (Too many cooks!) That said, the Institute for the Future of the Book’s if:book blog is a nice clearinghouse. And the unsinkable Jonathan Karp’s article This Is Your Wake-Up Call: 12 Steps to Better Book Publishing is a nice, um, wake-up call.

5. Good and Bad Procrastination

Sometimes you set out to write a post and in doing research for said post you discover that someone else has done a good enough job of writing it already. My post on good versus bad procrastination falls into this category. Hit it, Paul Graham!

6. Will My Video Get 1 Million Views on YouTube?

Still other times you set out to write a post (like, say, what the number of hits on your YouTube video means) and quickly find out that in order to write said post you’d have to do so much legwork that it wouldn’t be worth it. Then two days later Slate up and publishes a thoughtful, well-researched piece about the very same subject. Problem solved.

7. 10 Hallmarks of Amateur Recording

The final entry for my 2009 anti-roundup roundup comes courtesy of Des McKinney’s Hometracked blog. His post on the ten hallmarks of amateur recording had me inspired to do a similar post about the 10 hallmarks of amateur writing. Except I wasn’t going to merely copy his idea but instead create some kind of cross-disciplinary bridge between his world and mine. Then I remembered how smart you are and realized that given the opportunity you could figure it out for yourself.

Thanks again to all the readers of this blog for a memorable 2009. Here’s to the increased furtherance of awesomeness in 2010.

I know how to look for agents. I’ve got books, website lists, blahty-blah. And I get the long road thing and the keep trying thing. Okay. But while there are a lot of agents in the world, the numbers aren’t infinite.  I mean, first I probably need to focus on American agents–seeing as I live in America and all.

Then I’ve got to focus further on my genre. Done.

Focus in more on agents that seem legit. Done.

Then on agents that are accepting queries. Done.

And so if this list isn’t as long as the road–in fact the road appears to be running off the map–then what? End of list…rejections received…now…?

Burn book and map? Get off the damn road?

Here are some uncomfortable statements about your writing career that may or may not be true:

• You may not sell your first book. Or your second. Or your third.
• You may sell your fourth book first, then publish your first book second and then turn pieces of your second into a short story and write an essay about why you’ll never publish your third.
• You may rewrite your first book a dozen times over a dozen years before you get it right.
• You may discover that your books don’t really work as books and become a playwright.

You’re asking me about the finiteness of agents, but I sense that the question behind your question is about the nature of the path you’re on. When is this going to happen for me? IS is going to happen for me?

I don’t know. But I do know this:

Getting published is a byproduct of doing the work.

Unless you’re a celebrity (in which case getting published is a byproduct of doing other work) then your day will come because you got the work right. Not necessarily great work (or even good work) but work that is right.

So chin up. Focus on the page.

I promise you won’t run out of agents.

I’ve started exploring a possible story on SUPER SECRET STORY IDEA and I’m successful getting email replies to my original query from some significant clinicians and players in research. So, the question I’m often asked is: “What magazine are you writing for?” Of course I wish I had an assignment from a magazine. Our buddy Dan Baum, even lacking the assignment, would say he’s writing (in his example) for “Wired” because in a sense he contends that he is–doing all this leg-work free for an article he’s going to pitch at “Wired”. But I can’t get away with this can I?–”I’m writing for Psychology Today.” When the question has come up in the past I’ve said that I’m writing on spec and hope no one asks where I’ve been published. “Well, a couple literary quarterlies.” So how do I handle ingratiating myself to key sources so that they don’t blow me off and have enough confidence in me to spill the beans?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being honest. Tell them that you’re a freelance writer and that your plan is to take the story to Psychology Today.

If the source asks where you’ve been published then mention the name of the journals. Or tell them that you’re just starting out.

Whatever you do don’t apologize. There’s no shame in being new.

If they won’t talk to you, then ask them if they know anyone who will. If they offer another source then pursue that lead.

If they say they don’t know anyone (or if the person they recommend doesn’t pan out) then press them again to help you. Appeal to their vanity. You know from your research that they’re the single most important source for this story, a story that will completely change how we think about INTERESTING SUBJECT MATTER.

Or try luring them into a conversation. Tell them you just want to verify one fact or confirm one theory (then shut up and watch while they talk for half an hour).

If they still won’t talk to you then move down the list and pick the next source.

Wait . . . you don’t have a list of sources categorized by information need and then ranked in order of importance?

If you don’t have such a list, then get one. Every story has its dream scene, its dream quote, its dream fact. With some pieces it’s obvious, like getting the tobacco executive to admit that they’ve known for decades that cigarettes are harmful. With other stories it might be more subtle: a tough guy in a moment of vulnerability or a public saint betraying a hint of avarice. In the right context a boring statistic can be undeniably powerful.

If you can identify these ideal outcomes then you’re more likely either to get them outright or to recognize variations of them that fall into your lap.

Final thought:

Knowing what you want also helps your credibility. In my experience I’ve always gotten more out of interview subjects when I’m a mission. I don’t know how they can tell, but sources know the difference between hunting and fishing.

I’m not a writer by trade, but I’m working on a book that will help advance a cause related to my primary career, which is education. I feel very passionately about a certain educational philosophy and would like to see it more widely implemented. In other words, I want to change the world. How do I go about writing and publishing such a book?

I am tempted to temper your expectations with a quote from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

“Most people would succeed in small things, if they were not troubled with great ambitions.”

But I will not do that, because there are things in this world that undoubtedly need changing, and I see no reason to discourage you. The question is how a book fits into those plans. On that score I offer the following thoughts:

Are you settling an existing argument or starting a new one?

Imagine it’s the 80s and you have a thoughtful, peaceful way of reducing global terrorism. In the United States you would’ve had a very hard time getting people interested in your book or your cause. Terrorism was something that happened somewhere else.

If, on the other hand, it’s the 80s and you have a thoughtful, peaceful way of ending the nuclear arms race, then you fit very comfortably into the existing cultural and intellectual framework.

In the first example, your challenge is to change the conversation entirely. In the second example, your challenge is to beat out the other people who already have turf claims to the conversation. These are two very different jobs. Act accordingly.

How close to the bone is your cause?

Perhaps the most famous world-changing book in the United States is Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle (Google Books version here). You cannot read this book and not instinctively cry out for the Meat Inspection Act!

Funnily enough, Sinclair intended the book to explose the plight of the American factory worker, but his original vision was sidelined because tainted meat is more visceral than exploited people.

Education-related causes are tricky because they’re abstract. If you find out your kids are eating maggot-infested school lunch you’ll drop what you’re doing and call the principle. If you find out your kids are enrolled in a language arts program that one study finds is 15% less effective than most language arts programs, then you may do nothing at all.

I’m not saying that the inadequate language arts program isn’t important. It’s just that it doesn’t feel as important. One of your challenges is to figure out how to make your cause feel more immediate.

Does the book have to be a book?

Books are persuasive. But so are documentaries, websites, poster campaigns, etc. If your goal is to be an author whose books affect change, then there is only one path. If the book is simply the means, then the paths are many.

Final thought:

The book is a conversation point, a springboard, a start. But the book can’t do it alone. Books don’t fight your fight for you. You’ll need collaborators, supporters, allies, evangelists, etc.

Ultimately, it all comes down to you. There was a bit in The New Yorker recently about how every public park or national monument happens because one person becomes an enormous pain in the ass for that cause. If I were you, I’d concentrate on how you’re going to be that pain in the ass. If you get a book out of it, then so be it.

Good luck and let me know how it goes.

I have a complete fantasy novel manuscript, but no one wants it yet. Slush piles have turned up nothing, so I’m trying agents. The only problem is, my Writer’s Market doesn’t have agent listings, and I have no idea where to start looking! Where should I start looking for spec. fiction agents? Do they have their own directory? Is there a reliable agent directory with a sub-listing for fantasy and sci-fi market agents? Is there a way to get a feel for an agent before querying them? My story is somewhat unusual compared to most fantasy novels, and I have no idea how to make sure the agent I’m sending to is the sort who is willing to take a chance on something new. Any advice on the matter of speculative fiction agents would be tremendously appreciated and would go a long way towards my further awesomeness. Thank you very much for your time.

I put “speculative fiction” agent into our friend Google and got this nifty link right here as the first return. I hope this gets you started in terms of the information you need.

But, as always, what I’m really interested in is the question behind the question, or the problem behind the question, which in your case (and correct me if I’m wrong) is that you’re out there doing this entirely on your own.

If you were part of a network (virtual or otherwise) of speculative fiction writers, then you wouldn’t be asking me about finding an agent. You’d be asking them.

I’m happy to help, but I’m no substitute for a group of like-minded peers. We recently discussed ways to find people to give you feedback on your work. Writers who are ready to publish or are starting to get published might not need the feedback, but they still need the community.

Some things to consider:

Take an excerpt from your novel and rework it as a short piece

Short pieces aren’t going to make you rich and famous, but they do build audience, mark territory and send secret messages to your peers.

Start a writing group

You don’t have to read each others work. Get together, talk about stuff (or things) and stay in touch. Then help each other out when your careers start to break.

Make something happen

If you’re not interested in going to a conference, perhaps you’d like to work at one. Contributing to your genre’s scene (even if it’s just taking tickets at the door) gets you in front of people and behind the scenes.

As I’ve said before (and if I haven’t, please pretend that I have) the road to publication is painfully long. The worst thing you can do is passively wait. What’s more, if you’re out there stirring things up, you just might find that the agents will start coming to you.

My manuscript is over the limit on word count, but I think I can get it down close enough to acceptable levels that I am not really concerned.

I have two friends, however, who have written tomes. Yes, I hang out with overachievers. I’ve read one completely and bits of the historical. Both have had very positive comments from agents who are aware of the word count, but I wonder if the current climate is going to kill these books.

The delightful Moonrat recently covered this very topic. Her “is there a word cap count cap for a debut novel?” offers a peek into an editor’s point of view.

Agent Colleen Lindsay (who writes The Swivet blog) has walked similar ground, but she serves up a better word-count breakdown in her post “On word counts and novel length.“

I can’t offer much more on industry standards, but I can speak to what it might be like to go out into the world with a long, long, long, long, long, long book. Here’s what you’ll need:

1. Publication strategy that takes into account longness

You can’t pretend your book isn’t too long. People are going to notice. Which means publication strategy should take into account the size of your book.

If there are agents who are more likely to fight a long book’s battles, then that is an agent you will want to employ.

Getting a referral/endorsement from an established author will also help. See if you can get Toni Morrison to say, “I know this f*cker is 250,000 words long, but trust me on this one: it’s brilliant.” That just might do it.

Along those lines, it’s never too early to find ways of selling the book as a long book. (As the old computer science joke goes, “It’s not a bug; it’s a feature.”)

Is your book the final word on the subject? Is it the product of 25 years of research? Is it long because it’s experimental? Is it some kind of super epic? You’ll need something better than “just cuz.”

Finally, even if you land the deal at the desired size, the publisher may change their mind. Your editor might ask for big cuts, or ask you to split the book into two or three volumes. Be prepared for a fight.

2. Audience-building strategy that takes into account longness

All the struggles you encountered during the publication process will only be magnified once the book is out. There are people who simply won’t read long books. Period. There are even people who will resent you for writing long. (Who do you think you are, anyway? What century do you think it is?)

Are you planning on wooing those who would otherwise read your book if they weren’t turned off by the length? Or are you going to focus on a smaller core audience and hope to build the buzz that way? What’s the “elevator pitch” that makes its longness an enticement?

Your book’s longness will also come up again and again while you’re doing media. What’s your plan for handling interviews? Are you going to be coyly apologetic? Raffishly defensive? Unabashedly sassy?

Finally, if it’s not easy keeping any book afloat over its natural life, then a big book will be even more challenging. Once the energy of the hardcover release dissipates, then you have the long slog of getting your book into paperback, and then continuing to support it.

What is your plan for (sometimes literally) carrying this beast around with you for six, seven, eight, nine, ten years? What happens if the publisher decides not to go into paperback, the rights revert to you and you have to try re-selling the book to another house?

Are you prepared to fight your long book’s long-book battles twice?

3. Failure strategy that takes into account longness

Books fail for all kinds of reasons. Long books often fail because they’re TOO DAMN LONG and everyone (including the author) knows it.

If it’s absolutely unavoidable that your book is that long, then it might be easier to stomach the failure.

If your book is too long out of blindness or stubbornness, then you’re going to have a lifetime of “if only” conversations with yourself. Start practicing today.

For background: I’m an author with some decent short story credits, I edit a fiction magazine, I speak regularly at local conferences, I have several more short stories in constant circulation, and I’m shopping an urban fantasy novel to agents. I generally write speculative fiction.

I’ve been thinking recently about offering one of my unpublished novels on my website for free. The novel is a fantasy which has been to several agents, gotten requests, but eventually rejected with kind words, not right for today’s market, etc. This would be for promotional purposes only–another way to build my web presence.

Several authors have done this with great success: Doctorow, Scalzi, Konrath, to name a few.

My question: is this is the right thing to do at this stage in my career to continue building my name or is my time better spent elsewhere? I have built up (and subsequently lost due to my own lack of interest) a sizable audience on my personal blog, as well as edit a free online fiction magazine, so I have some idea on how to promote fiction online, though more tips are always appreciated!

I had another reader approach me recently with a similar question, so I’m going to try to answer both of you in one mighty post.

Favorite agent-with-a-blog Nathan Bransford wrote a great post back in February about “freevaneglists,” writers like Chris Anderson and Cory Doctorow who champion free content as a business model. (Kudos and credit to Nathan, by the way, on the coinage.)

My take on the free people is that what makes it work isn’t the free book. It’s them. It’s the attention getting. It’s the personal empire building. It’s the hustle.

(I also have to wonder if there is confluence of territory and approach. Would they be as successful if they campaigned against Digital Rights Management (DRM) and wrote about South American religious art?)

This is not a knock on the freevangelists. I admire them and their work. But if you’re going to lace up your future boots and follow in their silvery, Utopian footsteps, then I hope you keep the following in mind:

Free doesn’t mean cheap

Do you want your baby to appear to the world as just another file? Of course you don’t! If you want to get something out of your free-ness, then you’ll need cover art, a proper website, widgets, badges, etc. And it all has to look amazing.

Even the “Long Tail” starts with an occasion

The most poorly published traditional book still has a collective energy behind it. That’s why you’ll want a proper launch date, a release party, a social media campaign, reader contests, dance marathons, etc. (If you’ve already launched, take your book down, give it a rest, and relaunch it in three to six months.)

Get organized

Consider gathering five other authors in your genre and having all of you release your free e-books on the same day. Give yourselves a name. Write a manifesto. Something so your book isn’t so all on its lonesome.

Be prepared to fight for your book every day

This is true for a traditionally published book, but goes triple for a self-published giveaway. All the energy behind your freebie is going to come from you. You, you, you. Go, go, go. Bzz, bzz, bzz.

If you’re reading this and feeling like you’re going to barf, then this model probably isn’t for you.

If you’re reading this and are licking your chops in anticipation of the royal beatdown you’re going to put on the world, then I encourage you to proceed.

Final thought:

Traditional publishing frustrates me for many reasons, but I still buy all my books new and in book form. These new, for-sale, paper books are what I’m always going to want to read and write, and I will do so even if Amazon surgically attaches a free Kindle to my skull.

But like the survivalist who stocks up on bullets and spring water, I’m preparing myself for a future where the model is free and/or digital and/or self-publishing. I will go where reality goes, even if it breaks my heart.

The Summer Movies and Holiday Movies special sections [registration required] offer a master class in pitching and querying. (A shout-out to the mighty Dave Kehr for doing the work.) If you’re serious about selling your book, then you must read every single one. (I’m not joking. Not even a little bit.)

May Movie Releases

June Movie Releases

July Movie Releases

August Movie Releases

Let’s take the synopsis for a film called WHEN IN ROME as our case study for why:

A romantically disillusioned New Yorker (Kristen Bell) decides to get away from it all by taking a Roman holiday, but when she plucks a handful of coins from a magic fountain, she finds herself with more suitors than she can handle. With Danny DeVito, Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Dax Shepard, Anjelica Huston and Josh Duhamel; Mark Steven Johnson directed.

What’s brilliant about this synopsis is that your Internal Agent/Editor can immediately start anticipating scenes:

• Some kind of opening that shows that life as she knows it isn’t working for our Romantically Disillusioned New Yorker (RDNY).
• Arrival in Magical Rome. It’s magical! (If our RDNY has developed a hard shell, perhaps it softens a bit?).
• We need a New Friend, perhaps a nosy but wise hotelier who can be there to witness/facilitate the RDNY’s journey.
• Magical coin fountain scene. What’s that funny feeling? Is a change coming?
• An escalating flood of suitors (first one or two, then many) and the complications (serenading! jealousy!) that ensue.
• The (unwitting?) rejection by the RDNY of the One True One (OTO) and subsequent realization of said rejection.
• RDNY goes back to the fountain to see if there’s more magic that can be used to recapture the OTO.
• Don’t be a fool! There’s no more magic in that magic fountain! Sister must do it for herself.
• RDNY is going to need some kind of personal transformation, perhaps involving a makeover/trials/montage.
• Final confrontation between RDNY and OTO, with RDNY winning over OTO (with no magical aid).
• Kicker that perhaps hints at how the fountain is about to help its next charge.

This is an admittedly conventional plot, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Even within this trusty framework there’s room for this movie to explore some interesting territory.

For example, what’s the nature of the magic? Does it create a general aphrodisiac that makes her irresistible to all men? Or does each coin (the synopsis says a handful) correspond to a single man? Or does the fountain work as a kind of curse? She’s plagued by false suitors and can only set herself free by she opening herself to true love?

You could also use the same synopsis to do black comedy. She is beset by suitors, each one worse than the last, and decides in the end to reject love entirely because all men are worthless pigs and it’s better to be alone. (For the record, that the actual movie stars Josh Duhamel makes this highly unlikely, but a guy can dream.)

Your pitch session/query letter will certainly go beyond the one-liner, but think about the power of having this kind of a boil-down at your disposal. It gives you the option to either meet, frustrate or toy with expectations.

Consider, also, your other option: a long, meandering “synopsis” that fails to excite the imagination, that requires all kinds of explanations and digressions and backtrackings. I know from experience that it can be painful to reduce your work to a single line, but believe me when I tell you that the alternative is worse.

The piece is called What You Can Still See in Paris on $5 a Day. It’s a tight, funny encapsulation of his (as of yet unrepresented) travel memoir EUROPE ON FIVE BAD IDEAS A DAY.

Doug has also taken the initiative and built a well-designed website for his book project, in which he uses the 1963-1964 edition of Arthur Frommer’s Europe on Five Dollars a Day to retrace the European odyssey undertaken by his mother in the late 60s.

Please take a minute to support Doug’s efforts. He’s doing all the right things.

I haven’t yet put my [Publish-on-Demand] novel up, and I was wondering about agents. I’m sending out query letters (yes, I’ve read what you have to say about those). Will having this novel out there in POD form damage my ability to get an agent? I’m not sure the current attitudes towards these publishing outlets. For so long there has been a stigma against vanity presses and I don’t want that kind of reaction. But I also want to be someone who is . . . well, I don’t know the word exactly, but waiting around for the magic of an agent seems inadequate these days.

First, I will answer with Photoshop:

[Thanks to daneilmmfx for the raw image. Click this link to visit his site and make your own Hollywood sign with proper font.]

Second, with words:

As I can’t tell from your question if you’re worried that your POD novel will sour your chances for getting an agent for the POD novel, or for other projects, I’ll answer both.

It’s very, very, very rare that a self-published book gets picked up by a mainstream publisher, but it does happen. Christopher Paolini’s ERAGON is a famous example. (Want some old news? Here’s the 2003 Seattle PI story on Paolini’s deal.) But it’s not like ICM has a department devoted to finding the next POD-to-traditional hit. Most will politely decline.

As for future project interference, I think it all depends on how you play it.

You will lose points by saying this to an agent:

“I self-published PINEAPPLES ARE PICKED SOUR: The Fleecing of the American Hospitality Customer because ignorant, hot-shot cretins like you were blind to my genius.”

You will score points by saying this to an agent:

“I self-published PINEAPPLES ARE PICKED SOUR: The Fleecing of the American Hospitality Customer because I thought it was an opportunity to explore a niche market and gain experience promoting my work. I hope to apply what I learned from PAPS to my mainstream book experience.”

The real question here is whether or not you’re willing to do all the things you’ll need to do to make that POD novel worth your while. Check out the Self-Publishing Review and other sites that offer a similarly realistic view of the POD experience.

Final thought: Sometimes that novel that you can’t sell is the novel you can’t sell as your first novel. Lots of authors end up publishing out of sequence due to timing, subject matter, audience robusticity, etc.

Count it!

Quick addendum to the recent posts about writing for magazines:

A number of you have e-mailed me asking how long a typical personal essay is. I say it depends on the publication, but generally they run between 1,000-1,500 words.

How do I know?

I count.

I don’t count every word in every article I read, but every few months I like to check in. If I’m going to pitch a new publication I definitely hunker down and count me some words.

Magazines change. They give less space to features (or more). They allow the short stuff in the front to grow longer, or they keep things extra tidy with “charticles.”

It’s possible to write for a magazine you don’t read. It’s also possible to write for a magazine you read, but don’t really understand. But you’re most likely to write for a magazine that you both read and understand.

One way to understand a magazine is to sit down and count words.

Magazines assign copy based on ad sales. More ads, more copy. Fewer ads, less copy. So ignore that letter from the editor about what the magazine cares about these days. If you really want to peer into a publication’s soul, count how they spend their precious words.

What follows is less a how-to than the beginnings of a mental framework for approaching this opportunity:

1. Fiction and nonfiction aren’t that different

Being a novelist doesn’t automatically qualify you to be an essayist, but they aren’t as far apart as they might seem. A good argument builds and progresses like a good story does. They both have beginnings, middles and ends. In each case you want tension, surprise, changes in emotional value, and so forth.

You may not consider yourself an essayist, but if you can shift your beliefs, then you may find that you’re more of a nonfiction writer than you think.

2. Overt is good

One of the nice things about essays is that they’re about what they’re about, and you can say what they’re about without being penalized.

In your novel, two characters are keeping secrets, but the reader doesn’t even know they’re keeping secrets until page 100. In an essay, you get to announce it right up at the top:

Here Is My Essay About Secrets and What They Mean Today.

3. The background becomes the foreground

In your middle-grade reader, two ten-year old boys have a complicated friendship. In your research, you discover (warning: I’m making this up) that in Ancient Greece children were assigned a friend in order to learn the value of friendship.

The insights you glean from your research into Ancient Greek arranged friendships is invaluable, but in your book it only realistically works as backstory. In this case, an essay allows you to put otherwise unusable material to work.

4. Finding the peg

Writing for newspapers and magazines is all about timing. The story that is irrelevant today is essential tomorrow. Succeeding at writing tie-in articles requires patience, diligence and opportunism.

You want to have your essay relatively ready to go. Then, when that story breaks about keeping secrets or strange friendships, you can start contacting people. You say, “Hey, you know how Obama keeps talking about the importance of friendship? Well, I have a personal essay about friendship that includes some little know facts about arranged friendship in Ancient Greece. Interested?”

5. Tie-ins can happen before, during or after

I waited until my book was out before I started pitching related essays. In retrospect, that was a mistake. Writing tie-ins to your book (whether it’s fiction or non-) is a great way to test out material, build audience, and mark territory. As I mentioned in post about author Jason Bradbury and his model robot, there is no need to wait.

6. Remember this is all optional

Is writing an essay based on your novel a good idea? Of course!

Is it also yet another opportunity to beat your head against the publishing brick wall? I’m afraid it is.

Don’t kill yourself trying to make this work. Wear this advice lightly, but be on the look out for opportunity.

Nice guy. Terrible manager.

A reader writes:

I’m been putting final polishes on my manuscript, and I think I’m there, so now, I’m looking at agents. Actually, I’ve been building a list for a while, but when looking at some larger agencies, I wonder as a first-time novelist, what would be the ‘good idea’ when deciding which agent to send a query letter – a newer agent, ‘actively building’ his or her list, or a more established agent? This is assuming both are looking for the genre I write in, of course. I tend to think sending to the newer agent at a large agency would be the best choice. What do you think?

1. Scanning the acknowledgments of books you admire for agent-related intel;
2. Reading Galleycat, Publishers Marketplace, etc. for same;
3. Going to conferences and meeting people in a non-crazy way;
4. Avoiding generic directories such as Writer’s Market.

A reader writes:

I’m wondering what the consensus is for the writer/bloggers out there about dealing publicly with rejection. I feel like it’s weird to keep blogging about querying and just pretend like rejection doesn’t happen, but then I always hesitate. I don’t want my blog to have a negative vibe, and what if an agent looks at it that day and sees “received another rejection today”?

The first decision you need to make is whether or not your blog is for your friends or for your career.

If the purpose of your blog is to amuse and inform your friends, then by all means blog away about searching for an agent, querying them, and receiving the inevitable rejection notices.

If the purpose of your blog is to build your audience; however, then you might want to skip talking about the road to publication. And the reason why might not be what you’d expect.

First, you are in no danger of violating the positive-thinking tenets of The Secret. Wonderful things happen to vile, negative people all the time.

Second, an agent isn’t going to see that you’ve been rejected and automatically think, “Hey, I need to reject that person, too!” Any agent worth his or her salt knows how to think for themselves.

No, the reason not to write about the process of getting published is that the process of getting publishing is incredibly boring.

For me, there’s nothing worse than reading a well-crafted, intelligent, funny comment to a post by Moonrat or Nathan Bransford, and then clicking on the writer’s name and having my curiosity punished with ramblings about where they are in their draft, or how they just sent a batch of queries out, or how they’re debating between Conference X and Symposium Y.

I’ve yet to see a single trying-to-get-published post where anything actually happened:

• A pack of ninjas never fights the author for control of her query letter as she tries to put it in the mailbox.
• The rejecting agent never sends a minotaur to claim the heart of the author he’s decided not to represent.
• The unpublished author who completes his word-count goal by July 1st is rarely (rarely) transported back in time and given the chance to kill Hitler and avoid WWII.

Rejection (and acceptance for that matter) has no drama, no flavor. Even if I’m rooting for you as a person, when I visit your blog I want to be entertained and/or informed. How is writing about the mundania of publishing going to accomplish that?

Exceptions:

1. To my knowledge, no one in our culture currently owns literary rejection. If this is indeed true, then you could become The Most Rejected Writer in the World. You would inhabit the role of the loser, the reject, the pathetic worm who doesn’t even deserve to be read, much less become published.

Your mandate would be to get your ass rejected as many times, and in as many different ways, as humanly possible, and then obsess about it until it almost destroys the rest of your life. You would become a stand-in for our collective disappointment and frustration with the literary world, and we would love you for it.

2. Another option would be to thinly fictionalize the rejection process. Turn your ups and downs into an mock epic battle or a faux mythology or a grandiose fever dream.

Both of these exceptions hinge on your ability to turn the publishing process into something more than it is. If you can transform rejection (as opposed to merely documenting it) then you might be on to something. Otherwise, hit me with something else.

Eaton's Santa Claus Parade, Toronto, 1926/Archives of Ontario

The other day I was e-mailing with one of our readers about a book proposal she’s working on, when all of a sudden she said she was dropping the project.

The reason: a similar-sounding documentary film that was already in production.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

First, I understand her concern. I don’t have any evidence to support this other than my own experience, but I agree that your work competes across genres. Some books/films/shows/websites cast a very long shadow.

That said, you don’t want to drop a project at the first sign of trouble for the following reasons:

1. Your perspective can be skewed

When I was in the middle of writing HEAD CASE all I saw were brain books. I was hyper-aware of how other pop neuroscience books compared to mine.

But were my potential readers as minutely attuned to every single similarity and difference? I hope not, because that would mean they were clinically insane.

2. No one gets a clean shot

I challenge you to find subject matter that hasn’t been covered in a book, film, television show, YouTube video, blog post, tweet, etc. Not only is our culture a free-for-all, but the internet makes it a free-for-all seeped in redundancy.

You’re going to have to fight for attention no matter what, so you might as well make your peace with that.

3. Audiences are fragmented

You think that the world doesn’t need another book about the Civil War, but then someone writes a YA novel set in the aftermath of Gettysburg and suddenly teens everywhere have Civil War fever. (I’m making this up . . . I think.)

Your competition may have you beat when it comes to divorced Boomers living in California, but married Xers who blog about publishing and live in Minneapolis are there for the taking. (So take them!)

4. Quality trumps all

Just when you think a category is exhausted a writer will come along and make it all new again.

Personally, I’m sick to death of zombies (you’re probably a little late to the party, zombie Jane Austen) but then again . . . .

5. You may have no choice

I wouldn’t dare compete with Dan Savage in the explicit, sarcastic, tell-it-like-it-is sex advice category. Unless that’s what I really wanted to do with my life.

Your dreams are your dreams. You’re stuck with them. Act accordingly.

Do ghostwriting credits carry any extra weight with agents? Does this help you with an industry “in” as well as the learning curve of book writing?

When I worked for a literary agency, we often got query letters from aspiring writers who had what you might call “related experience.” In other words, they had written copy or marketing materials or press releases. In some cases, they had ghostwritten speeches or articles for the opinion page or even books.

At first, I paid extra attention to people with related experience. I believed (and still do) that all writing counts. Even if you spend your entire day naming subdivisions, it all contributes (if obliquely) to your art’s grand design.

The problem is that people (related experience or not) invariably query too soon. The typical agent probably gets more query letters from people who want to be published than they do from people who are ready to be published. As a result, all kinds of things that should count toward credibility end up in the category of “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

For example, let’s say you get a query letter about a murder mystery set in Antarctica, and it’s written by someone who lived in Antarctica for five seasons. Great, right? It’s set in a very specific place and the guy has lived in the very specific place.

But then the partial comes and you immediately see that the writer has no ability to evoke Antarctica. He’s thinks he can, but he can’t. Five years from now he’ll have that skill. Ten years from now he’ll not only be able to evoke Antarctica, but he’ll have the savvy to use that experience metaphorically in a book about a community of germaphobes who live an extremely isolated existence in the middle of Manhattan.

All that said, you will want to mention your ghostwriting credentials if said project

a. was published by a major house

b. was published by a smaller house but sold well

c. involved a high-profile collaborator

d. is supremely kick-ass.

Just know that anything and everything you put in front of an agent is going to be met with a certain amount of self-protecting skepticism. You never want your query to hinge on one thing. Spread the awesome around and you’ll do fine.

And so I present to you, without comment or judgment, the first ten hardcover titles of the Spring ’09 Little, Brown and Company catalog (with marketing taglines):

1. THE HORSE BOY by Rupert Isaacson

“The remarkable, inspiring story of a father willing to go to the ends of the earth to heal his son.”

2. A LUCKY CHILD by Thomas Buergenthal

“The profoundly moving memoir of a young boy’s odyssey through the Holocaust.”

3. THE 8TH CONFESSION by James Patterson & Maxine Paetro

“The only episode of the Women’s Murder Club this year!”

4. FOLLOW ME by Joanna Scott

“From one of today’s most captivating literary voices, an epic and unforgettable novel of a young woman’s search for herself in America.”

5. THE SCARECROW by Michael Connelly

“#1 bestselling author Michael Connelly—the best mystery writer in the world”*—brings back the hero of The Poet in a terrifying new thriller.” *GQ

6. INTO THE BEAUTIFUL NORTH by Luis Alberto Urrea

“Beloved bestselling author Luis Alberto Urrea returns with a brilliant, ebullient, and timely road novel about a young woman’s journey north, to America.”

7. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? by Rocce Mediate & John Feinstein

“The legendary Rocco Mediate teams up with America’s favorite golf writer to chronicle the golfer’s epic head-to-head battle with Tiger Woods in the 2008 US Open.”

8. DO-OVER! by Robin Hemley

“A middle-aged father conquers the embarrassments of childhood—by calling ‘do-over!’”

9. MIX SHAKE STIR by Danny Meyer

“Start any evening off on a glamorous note with stylish, unexpected cocktails from Danny Meyer’s world-renowned New York restaurants.”

10. THE MAN’S BOOK by Thomas Fink

“This manual of manliness is the essential gift for any self-respecting father, friend, graduate or groomsman.”

I have always used my blog to gauge reactions to various experiments and writing styles, and I enjoy the immediate feedback inherent to self-publishing. But if I want to submit a story to a magazine, it’s likely that they’re going to want first publishing rights.

My blog isn’t particularly high traffic, so it seems silly that it would immediately disqualify a piece from more “real” publication: but apparently it does. (I’ve double-checked with a few publications, and even super small out-of-mom’s-basement kinds of publications take themselves so seriously.)

Am I missing something? Or is this just an awkward phase in the adolescent struggle between the virtual and tangible worlds? Do I prioritize a magazine who won’t get back to me for six months, tolerate simultaneous submissions, or even pay me *if* they publish my work — or do I damn The Man, throw the thing online and bask in immediate satisfaction?

I checked around with my editor friends and none of them seemed too concerned about assigning a story that had already been blogged about, as long as said blogging wasn’t exhaustive, well-trafficked or somehow seen as competition.

In other words, if you’re selling ads on your top-ranked parenting blog, then that post you wrote about getting your son to eat his veggies is probably not going to fly. If you have an anecdote on your personal blog about the same topic, then I doubt a magazine editor is going to hold that against you.

In fact, I was a little surprised by your question, because I would think that with 133 million blogs out there, finding a topic that hadn’t been blogged about would be almost impossible. The issue in the aforementioned (hack) example is not the blogging, but the eternal problem of finding a fresh approach to familiar material. (Perhaps Google Zeitgeist 2008 can help.)

Final thought:

If you’re using your blog to explore and experiment, please do limit yourself to exploring and experimenting. If your posts are too polished and put together, then that might be a turn-off to potential buyers. Even lazy editors want to leave their mark.

Agent A goes into the office first thing and checks his e-mail. There are usually anywhere between 30 and 40 electronic queries from people the agent has never met. Nevertheless, he goes over them with great care, weighing the pros and cons of each one, and thinking deeply about their literary and commercial potential. This takes all morning.

Then, his assistant brings him the fruits of the regular mail. Agent A spends his lunch hour and most of the afternoon processing another 30 or 40 query letters with great care and much deliberation. At the end of day, there is just enough time to tweak the Submission Guidelines page on the agency’s website and to start drafting that all-important entry for next year’s Writer’s Market.

Agent B

Agent B starts her day having coffee with a police detective she recently saw on the local news. The detective is handling a high-profile case and comes off as articulate and charismatic on TV. There might be something there.

Then Agent B swings by a bookstore to see who’s on the front table displays and to chat up a bookseller she knows. The bookseller happens to mention a friend who has a great idea for a YA techno-thriller set in the pineapple industry. Intrigued, Agent B instructs the bookseller to have her friend query her and to make sure that he mentions the bookseller’s name in the letter.

Lunch is with the editor of a small, up-and-coming online journal that the agent discovered while surfing the Internet. It’s unclear what the editor and his stable of writers have to offer the world right now, but Agent B sees potential and extracts a promise that they keep her in mind as they continue to develop and grow.

Then Agent B stops by the office. She picks up the day’s query letters, which have already been sorted by her assistant. On top are the letters that are either requests or referrals. Then come the unsolicited queries that the assistant has deemed worthy of Agent B’s attention. Then come the unsolicited queries that the assistant has tagged as rejects. The agent takes the top layer to read at home later, then gives the second layer a single read and pulls a couple of queries that show promise. (She’ll read them along with the top layer.) Agent B then skims the last layer just to make sure her assistant is doing her job. On some days, she ignores that last layer altogether.

Finally, a quick staff meeting where Agent B and her assistant and their intern talk about the manuscripts and partials that are currently on submission. Meeting quickly devolves into a more general discussion about what is going on in the culture, what bores them, what excites them, etc. Toward the end of the meeting, Agent B’s assistant reminds her that the deadline for the Writer’s Market entry is at the end of the week. Agent B tells the intern to write something up and have the assistant review it before passing it along to her for final approval. “Just make sure you say we don’t handle romance novels,” says Agent B. “It won’t stop people, but what can you do?”

Questions:

Which agent is more successful?

Which agent would you rather represent you?

Which agent is more likely to exist outside of yet another ham-fisted parable written by Dennis Cass?

I’m not surprised at this news. I’ve heard through the grapevine that advances are suddenly, precipitously lower (an agent friend told me that a book he would have sold for 75K last year went for ten) and that the market was generally cool, but this is the first time I’ve heard a publisher go on record saying that they’re not buying.

Do not fret. In publishing this time of year is notorious for being slow anyway. (August can also be bad.) If you’re killing yourself to get that proposal/manuscript out the door, you might be better off taking a break, gaining some perspective, enjoying the holidays, and then ramping up again in January/February. This is especially true if you’re a first-time author. Making that manuscript even 5% better might make all the difference in the world when it comes time to sell. The bad times can’t last forever.

Point two: Publishers may not be buying books, but now is the time for us readers to really pour it on. We are not going to get our government bailout. If anything money for the arts is going to get scarcer. So if you’re interested in seeing books and authors survive, then the market is our only hope.

(The undercover book editor and blogger Moonrat wrote an excellent post earlier this month about what the economy did to publishing in the month of October. You will want to read it.)

So go out and buy a bunch of books, new, from a bookstore. Read them, give them as gifts, use them to prop open windows, hoard them obsessively in your basement. And for those of you who enjoy (or at least tolerate) Facebook, there is the Buy a Book, Save the World! group. I believe this is the result of some of Moonrat’s readers hearing her call. Go Moonrat! Go books!