Dennis Cass Wants You To Be More Awesome

Your assignment is to jot (and I stress that word JOT) down the scenes you would expect to find in a story based on the following premise:

Two childhood friends unexpectedly fall in love during a trip to New York.

The scenes do not have to be in order. They do not have to cohere. They do not have to be original.

This is an exercise in reacting to an idea. Keep it fast and loose and automatic.

Please post your results in the comments or send them to me at dennis <dot> cass <at> gmail <dot> com and we’ll put them to good use.

Final thought:

Duplicate answers are beyond okay. So if you see something in the comments and you feel that it’s already been covered, please post anyway. The more people who contribute the better.

I do my best not to dude out on you, but once in a while something comes along that brings out the 12-year-old boy in me.

Watch this and then immediately start writing whatever comes to mind:

Photo courtesy foxypar4 Flickr photostream

The good people at Phantom Fireworks recently sent me a brochure containing the following delightfully named fireworks products:

Fortress of Fire

Cometary Chaos

Glitterator

Toot N Twirl

Large Happy Planets

Strobe Flower Blooms

Komodo 3000

Vapor Trails

Critical Blast

Artificial Satellite

Hexagon Magic

Saturn Battery

Barbarian Blast

Fiery Cloud

Your assignment is to take one or more of these names and use them in a paragraph. The goal is to stray as far from the literal as possible.

[Ed. note: Example redacted because stop signs have eight sides.]

Have fun and have a fine weekend.

Speaking to you on oh so many levels

Come spring, a writer’s thoughts turn to the classic 70s TV detective Columbo.

Of all of the character’s signature traits (shabby raincoat, cigar, unseen wife, “one more thing . . . “) the smoking, rattling, backfiring Peugot 403 is my favorite.

The bad guy always sees this car and mistakenly reads Lt. Columbo as an incompetent buffoon.

The audience sees this car and correctly reads Lt. Columbo as an intelligent eccentric who has a singular point of view and unique insights into the world. (If he drove an old Chevy it wouldn’t be the same.)

For this prompt, I want you to come up with a P.I. and his or her ride.

1. Create a P.I.

2. Pick a car for said P.I.

3. Identify what the car says to the people in the fictional detective’s fictional world

4. Identify what the car secretly signals to the reader

Try not to get bogged down in scene. Don’t make it pretty. Think of this prompt as an exercise in getting better at the behind-the-scenes work.

Vroom, vroom.

Please describe the people and the circumstances surrounding the following piece of graffiti:

Bonus points for scenarios that have little or nothing to do with war, protesting and/or stopping.

I recently developed a new exercise for the creativity class I teach through the University of Minnesota’s Compleat Scholar program. The exercise is cumbersome, but if you can survive the grind it pays big dividends.

Your task is to design a civilization from the ground up.

1. Make a series of columns labeled Food, Settlement, Government, Arts, etc. (You might want to orient your page sidewise, use multiple sheets of paper, or a whiteboard.)

2. Under each aspect of your civilization make two sub-columns labeled Method and Beliefs.

3. Brainstorm the methods for each civilization aspect.

4. Brainstorm the attitudes and beliefs the people of your civilization might have about each civilization aspect.

You will end up with something like this (click twice to enlarge):

Now comes the fun part.

1. Pick a method and a belief from one of the columns. Look for a combination that makes you smile or frown.

2. Start imagining what a civilization built on that method/belief pair might be like.

In class, we started with Artistic Fishing. We imagined what it would be like if a culture believed that fishing (as opposed to painting or literature) was the highest art form.

3. Pick other methods and beliefs and see what happens to the civilization.

In the Artistic Fishing example, we talked about how a tribal, pre-technological civilization might view fishing as an art for spiritual reasons. But when we imagined Artistic Fishing in crowded, technological society, we ended up with museums filled with bass boats.

4. Make it real. Whether your civilization starts out rational or absurd, keep working the methods and beliefs until it has its own internal logic.

We had a wonderful example on Monday where someone imagined a civilization of telepaths that lived in trees. The high status people at the top passed down their garbage to the level below, who had to live on the castoffs of the rich. Then those people passed on their garbage to the next level below and so on, and all the while no one says a word.

Finally, as with all Awesome Writing Prompts, if you’re reluctant to post your answers, I’m always happy to take a look offline.

The scene: a birthday party.

Your character: the guest of honor.

The action: opening a highly undesirable present.

The assignment: write a few lines of dialogue in response to said undesirable present.

First, as this guy:

Then, as this fine lady:

Finally, as one of these guys:

One of my students alerted me to a legendary piece of bad writing called “The Eye of Argon” by Jim Theis. TEOA is so bad that people get together, read it aloud, and try to see how far into the story they can get without laughing. (It’s called “competitive reading.” Here are the rules.)

Here’s a taste:

The weather beaten trail wound ahead into the dust racked climes of the baren land which dominates large portions of the Norgolian empire. Age worn hoof prints smothered by the sifting sands of time shone dully against the dust splattered crust of earth. The tireless sun cast its parching rays of incandescense from overhead, half way through its daily revolution. Small rodents scampered about, occupying themselves in the daily accomplishments of their dismal lives. Dust sprayed over three heaving mounts in blinding clouds, while they bore the burdonsome cargoes of their struggling overseers.

“Prepare to embrace your creators in the stygian haunts of hell, barbarian”, gasped the first soldier.

“Only after you have kissed the fleeting stead of death, wretch!” returned Grignr.

A sweeping blade of flashing steel riveted from the massive barbarians hide enameled shield as his rippling right arm thrust forth, sending a steel shod blade to the hilt into the soldiers vital organs. The disemboweled mercenary crumpled from his saddle and sank to the clouded sward, sprinkling the parched dust with crimson droplets of escaping life fluid.

You have two choices:

1. Rewrite this excerpt and make it good.

2. Write something worse.

I found this symbol spray-painted on the wall in my basement.

What does it all mean?