Comments on: Question: Can You Unburn a Bridge?

By: denniscass

denniscass — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:52:41 +0000

I think it all depends on the relationship. And the nature of the offense.

I didn’t taking being an “arrogant little sh*t” to be that big of a deal. It’s not like the reader filed a false expense account or tanked a story.

To me it sounded like a personality conflict and if that’s the case, then a late apology (right or wrong) is probably going to fall on deaf ears.

That said, I think James is right. A sincere apology (for a genuine offense) can never be late.

By: bets

bets — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 02:15:05 +0000

My editor is showing (oops). I have to side with Dennis here. I’m not even experienced enough to get jaded yet, but other people in the industry are. I’d expect they’d think of an apology sent much later: “uh oh, in a couple of minutes this’ll be followed by a pitch.”

That said, I’ve found industry folk to be amazingly forgiving. I’ve had just this sort of lapse in good judgment, and followed by an immediate apology I got an invite to “submit again, please, we love your stuff and we know rejections suck!” But if I’d let it go, I would have let it go. Yes, I would have had to suffer my own mortifying breakdown. But I would have let it go.

Either they’ll never forgive you (and do you really want to work with someone like that?) or they’ll love your next project and forgive you (we all want to work with someone like that!)

Like the esteemed Miss Snark says: Good Writing Trumps All.

By: James Preller

James Preller — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:04:41 +0000

Dennis, I enjoy your site — but hate this advice. The reader admitted to being clearly in the wrong, and feeling guilty about being “an arrogant little shit.”

Yes, apologize. Write a sincere, handwritten note — and put it in the mail.

Of course, if the reader is not sincere, if this is all BS to get another book deal, then that’s truly disgusting and, I’d bet, pretty transparent.

A sincere apology? There’s no deadline on that. We’re not talking about marketing here, or strategizing for the best outcomes.

Go for it. Dare to be a decent human being — and screw all the marketing angles for a while.