Dennis Cass Wants You To Be More Awesome

Last December, as you may recall, Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zeidi threw a shoe at former President George H. W. Bush.

I happened to be online when it happened, and I remember thinking, “Goody. This is just the kind of freaky, bite-sized news story that revealingly wends its way through the culture.”

The story broke on December 14, 2008. This was a Sunday. By Monday, what you think would happen had happened: late-night talk show jokes, op-eds about the significance (or insignificance) of the moment, reactions and counter-reactions in the blogosphere.

Then, on Tuesday afternoon, I found these:

(GIFs are courtesy Top Ten Awesome Bush Shoe-Toss Animated GIFs from the Riff blog over at Mother Jones.)

I was floored. It’s one thing when people dash off a blog post or Photoshop gag, or put up a quickie video response on YouTube, but these GIFs are so slick and so good and so artful. And even if this is an admittedly minor phenomenon, it all happened—collectively and unconsciously—in less than 48 hours. Most important of all, even though these GIFs were made by amateurs, they are funnier and more pointed than anything I saw done by professionals. Seeing them made me wonder if I can still be competitive in this culture.

I have since calmed down, even if lingering questions remain:

If I’m going to try to be “up to the minute” then what skills/resources/attitudes will it take to keep up?

If I’m not going to try to be “up on things” then what is my relationship to the cultural timestream? Am I a week behind? A month? What are the risks/rewards of being outside of conventional time?

Regardless of my relationship to time, how can I make sure that my ideas are as transformational as they need to be in order to make an impact? What is too far? What is not far enough?

Wonderful piece in Slate about the history of the Klingon language.

The article is written by author (and friend of DCWYTBMA) Arika Okrent. I had the privilege of seeing pages of her upcoming book IN THE LAND OF INVENTED LANGUAGES and sense big things.

The book has a great hook, fine writing, and facts that astound and amaze. Plus, I predict that every public radio producer in America is going to fall all over themselves to have her on the air. Stay tuned.

Also, fans of British comedy must needs check out THE MIGHTY BOOSH Sunday nights on Adult Swim. I couldn’t even begin to describe it and sense that perhaps its creators might have the same problem:

[Sadly, YouTube won't let me embed this amazing video for the Bouncy Castle Crimp]

Have a fine weekend and good luck working on your first crimp!

I know both Frank and Eric and can vouch for their radness. For those of you who are looking for a class this summer you can do no better.

The Search for Story: Writing Narrative Nonfiction

To be a successful nonfiction writer these days, it’s not enough to know how to type, to have a blog, or to be able to put an article together. To write powerfully in today’s media environment, you need to be able to tell great stories. In this class, we’ll look at the evolution of narrative nonfiction and New Journalism. We’ll review some of the master nonfiction writers and learn how to apply narrative techniques in profiles, travel stories, features, and essays. Advanced or professional writers only. Please submit two writing samples (maximum of 5,000 words per sample) or clips to Loft Education by Friday, June 19 (not postmark deadline). Accepted students notified by July 1.

Frank Bures is an award-winning writer whose work has been featured in Harper’s, Esquire, Outside, Mother Jones, and other magazines. His work was included in the Best American Travel Writing 2004, received a Lowell Thomas Award in 2007, and will be included in the Best American Travel Writing 2009. He is a contributing editor at Poet & Writers and the Travel Channel’s WorldHum.com.  More at frankbures.com

Short-Short Stories

Short-shorts can lean toward fables, sketches, jokes, parables, meditations, and anecdotes; they may be narrative or lyric. “Part of the fun of writing them is the sense of slipping between the seams,” says Stuart Dybek. The form resists definition, which may be why short-shorts go by a variety of names: flash, micro, sudden, and quick fiction. Because of their brevity (typically 1,000 words or less) and often experimental nature, they provide a great opportunity to work on elements of craft: tone and voice, in particular. We’ll do exercises to generate material, discuss work by authors like Calvino, Oates, Boyle, and Saunders, and workshop student stories. Small copy fee payable to teaching artist.

Eric Vrooman’s short fiction has appeared in the Kenyon Review, Minnesota Monthly, the Cream City Review, Passages North, Ninth Letter, and elsewhere. Before completing an MFA in fiction at the University of North Carolina, Wilmington, he was a literary agent for the Lazear Agency. He has taught creative writing at Tulane University and Gustavus Adolphus College. He is currently at work on a collection of nontraditional form fiction (short-shorts, primarily).

Still rolling with our query lessons. Check out this one for ANAGLYPH TOM:

The experimental filmmaker Ken Jacobs revisits the 1905 Edison film that was the source of his 1969 structural analysis “Tom, Tom, the Piper’s Son,” this time in 3-D video.

Beyond the words “experimental filmmaker” I have absolutely no idea what this means. Never heard of Ken Jacobs. Not interested in late-60s structural analysis. 3-D leaves me cold.

But this synopsis means something to somebody, and that’s the only thing that matters.

• You could try to make this pitch more universal.
• You could try to convince a broader audience that this story is relevant to them.
• You could try to (through lengthy, parenthetical, infinitive-splitting digressions) educate the populace about anaglyphs, Thomas Edison’s film career, etc.

But is that really the best use of your time?

The wise writer not only knows their audience, but also know the limits of that audience. Sometimes that audience is going to be irrevocably small. Better to connect with those people fully than to reach beyond them and miss on all counts.

An anaglyph:

Image taken from www.stereoscopy.com

mnartists.org has extended their deadline for submissions for their What Light Poetry Project and miniStories flash fiction series.

You now have until Friday, May 15th to submit up to three short (maximum 50 lines or 300 words each) poems or up to three flash fiction (500 words or less) stories.

As a former judge for this contest, I know they do a fine job. It’s competitive, but accessible, and if you do good work, you have a chance.

There are also readings associated with the contest that will give you the opportunity to do some community building.

Click the link in the first graf for more details.

Good luck!

Monday’s breakdown of WHEN IN ROME was such a success I’m doing another one.

Today’s synopsis—for a film called THE MERRY GENTLEMEN—presents more of a challenge for reasons that (I hope) you’ll see:

Two lost souls, played by Kelly Macdonald and Michael Keaton, warily become friends during a bleak Midwestern winter in a drama that marks Mr. Keaton’s first feature as a director.

Unlike WHEN IN ROME, we have no exotic locale, no magic fountain, and no plucky heroine in need of a change. More importantly, we’re missing the transformative (and story-moving) power of romantic love.

Instead, we have individual components that taken on their own are flat and vague. What exactly is a lost soul? How does one “warily” become friends? And why not put a state (Michigan? Minnesota?) to that generic Midwestern winter?

Put all these elements together, however, and they start to sing. The story this synopsis suggests is more driven by mood and tone than plot, but I still feel like we can make some safe bets:

1. Everything happens on a human scale

The story takes place at kitchen tables and on bar stools. If there’s a scene at the hospital, it happens in the waiting room. Time unfolds naturally (no montages here). Politics, social status, etc. are muted. (If one of the supporting characters is the mayor, then he’s someone’s hunting buddy.) People may talk about extraterrestrials, but the aliens they do not land.

2. Winter is a character

At the very least, there are scene breaks that feature still shots of fence posts poking out of snowbanks. At the very most, the ice, cold and snow frustrate our protagonists’ basic needs and desires. (For some reason I’m seeing icy roads that force them to improvise a place to stay for the night.)

3. Said souls are lost for small-scale reasons

Neither of these guys is a neurosurgeon on the retreat because he botched an operation on the President. Instead they are divorced, or have estranged children, or they drink. Furthermore, said drinking is not epic, rock star drinking (otherwise the story would be set someplace like L.A.). Life has slipped away because of small traumas and neglected obligations.

4. Their fragile friendship will be tested

Stories like these trade in simple heartbreak. I’m picturing a Sudden Unforeseen Event in the third act. Perhaps there’s a car accident, or someone almost chokes to death in a diner. Our lost souls, who seem to have been progressing, are faced with a simple but intense challenge, and fail to rise to the occasion. Cue strings.

5. The ending will lack resolution

No way these guys end up moving to Florida and starting a successful real estate business. If both of them survive this story (there’s a strong possibility one will not) then the ending suggests more of the same. The final shot is extra wintry.

You might think from this rundown that I’m making fun of THE MERRY GENTLEMEN, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with anything I’ve described. Movies like YOU CAN COUNT ON ME have worked similar territory to great success.

The big question in my mind is what this story is going to say about friendship. We’d need another line or two to tease that out. Given what we think we know so far, anyone care to take a guess?

Twice a year The New York Times provides a great bounty.

The Summer Movies and Holiday Movies special sections [registration required] offer a master class in pitching and querying. (A shout-out to the mighty Dave Kehr for doing the work.) If you’re serious about selling your book, then you must read every single one. (I’m not joking. Not even a little bit.)

May Movie Releases

June Movie Releases

July Movie Releases

August Movie Releases

Let’s take the synopsis for a film called WHEN IN ROME as our case study for why:

A romantically disillusioned New Yorker (Kristen Bell) decides to get away from it all by taking a Roman holiday, but when she plucks a handful of coins from a magic fountain, she finds herself with more suitors than she can handle. With Danny DeVito, Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Dax Shepard, Anjelica Huston and Josh Duhamel; Mark Steven Johnson directed.

What’s brilliant about this synopsis is that your Internal Agent/Editor can immediately start anticipating scenes:

• Some kind of opening that shows that life as she knows it isn’t working for our Romantically Disillusioned New Yorker (RDNY).
• Arrival in Magical Rome. It’s magical! (If our RDNY has developed a hard shell, perhaps it softens a bit?).
• We need a New Friend, perhaps a nosy but wise hotelier who can be there to witness/facilitate the RDNY’s journey.
• Magical coin fountain scene. What’s that funny feeling? Is a change coming?
• An escalating flood of suitors (first one or two, then many) and the complications (serenading! jealousy!) that ensue.
• The (unwitting?) rejection by the RDNY of the One True One (OTO) and subsequent realization of said rejection.
• RDNY goes back to the fountain to see if there’s more magic that can be used to recapture the OTO.
• Don’t be a fool! There’s no more magic in that magic fountain! Sister must do it for herself.
• RDNY is going to need some kind of personal transformation, perhaps involving a makeover/trials/montage.
• Final confrontation between RDNY and OTO, with RDNY winning over OTO (with no magical aid).
• Kicker that perhaps hints at how the fountain is about to help its next charge.

This is an admittedly conventional plot, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Even within this trusty framework there’s room for this movie to explore some interesting territory.

For example, what’s the nature of the magic? Does it create a general aphrodisiac that makes her irresistible to all men? Or does each coin (the synopsis says a handful) correspond to a single man? Or does the fountain work as a kind of curse? She’s plagued by false suitors and can only set herself free by she opening herself to true love?

You could also use the same synopsis to do black comedy. She is beset by suitors, each one worse than the last, and decides in the end to reject love entirely because all men are worthless pigs and it’s better to be alone. (For the record, that the actual movie stars Josh Duhamel makes this highly unlikely, but a guy can dream.)

Your pitch session/query letter will certainly go beyond the one-liner, but think about the power of having this kind of a boil-down at your disposal. It gives you the option to either meet, frustrate or toy with expectations.

Consider, also, your other option: a long, meandering “synopsis” that fails to excite the imagination, that requires all kinds of explanations and digressions and backtrackings. I know from experience that it can be painful to reduce your work to a single line, but believe me when I tell you that the alternative is worse.