Best of DCWYTBMA: Blogging About Rejection
12 Mar
Thanks to the revised I Help U? tab, there’s been a recent influx of help-seekers. As a result, I’ve been more actively cruising aspiring writer blogs, which reminded me of the following (slightly edited and updated) post from the old Ning site.
A reader writes:
I’m wondering what the consensus is for the writer/bloggers out there about dealing publicly with rejection. I feel like it’s weird to keep blogging about querying and just pretend like rejection doesn’t happen, but then I always hesitate. I don’t want my blog to have a negative vibe, and what if an agent looks at it that day and sees “received another rejection today”?
The first decision you need to make is whether or not your blog is for your friends or for your career.
If the purpose of your blog is to amuse and inform your friends, then by all means blog away about searching for an agent, querying them, and receiving the inevitable rejection notices.
If the purpose of your blog is to build your audience; however, then you might want to skip talking about the road to publication. And the reason why might not be what you’d expect.
First, you are in no danger of violating the positive-thinking tenets of The Secret. Wonderful things happen to vile, negative people all the time.
Second, an agent isn’t going to see that you’ve been rejected and automatically think, “Hey, I need to reject that person, too!” Any agent worth his or her salt knows how to think for themselves.
No, the reason not to write about the process of getting published is that the process of getting publishing is incredibly boring.
For me, there’s nothing worse than reading a well-crafted, intelligent, funny comment to a post by Moonrat or Nathan Bransford, and then clicking on the writer’s name and having my curiosity punished with ramblings about where they are in their draft, or how they just sent a batch of queries out, or how they’re debating between Conference X and Symposium Y.
I’ve yet to see a single trying-to-get-published post where anything actually happened:
- A pack of ninjas never fights the author for control of her query letter as she tries to put it in the mailbox.
- The rejecting agent never sends a minotaur to claim the heart of the author he’s decided not to represent.
- The unpublished author who completes his word-count goal by July 1st is rarely (rarely) transported back in time and given the chance to kill Hitler and avoid WWII.
Rejection (and acceptance for that matter) has no drama, no flavor. Even if I’m rooting for you as a person, when I visit your blog I want to be entertained and/or informed. How is writing about the mundania of publishing going to accomplish that?
Exceptions:
1. To my knowledge, no one in our culture currently owns literary rejection. If this is indeed true, then you could become The Most Rejected Writer in the World. You would inhabit the role of the loser, the reject, the pathetic worm who doesn’t even deserve to be read, much less become published.
Your mandate would be to get your ass rejected as many times, and in as many different ways, as humanly possible, and then obsess about it until it almost destroys the rest of your life. You would become a stand-in for our collective disappointment and frustration with the literary world, and we would love you for it.
2. Another option would be to thinly fictionalize the rejection process. Turn your ups and downs into an mock epic battle or a faux mythology or a grandiose fever dream.
Both of these exceptions hinge on your ability to turn the publishing process into something more than it is. If you can transform rejection (as opposed to merely documenting it) then you might be on to something. Otherwise, hit me with something else.
And while we’re on the topic, I don’t care what you had for breakfast either.
Speaking of rejection I was reminded of an article in the 9/19/08 issue of “The New York Times Magazine” by David Gessner: “Why Writers Teach”. Anyway, along the way he had this description of the activity of writing:
“There’s something basically insane about sitting at a desk and talking to yourself all day, and there’s a reason that writers are second only to medical students in instances of hypochondria…. In isolation our minds turn on us pretty quickly and for the most part we’re left to judge for ourselves whether we’ve succeeded or failed…. A writer afterall… must experience the anxiety of it and once in a blue moon the glory of it.”
Hmm… This is not for the faint of heart is it? Few rewards in the typical capitalistic sense, while waiting for “We’ve accepted your story for publication.” Enough to keep us going until the next one.
Oh man, this is hysterical, given I was going to indulge on a month-long rant about the query process….

I decided months ago that my personal blog is for friends….I agree with everything you say here.
Well holy cow. I never thought about rejection in just that way but how true!
There’s a particular playwrights group that I actually unsubscribed too because of one woman who’s EVERY post was about her rejections, which then lead to her daily ‘I’m a failure post’ which then lead to everyone telling her she’s not a failure. Riveting stuff….