Question: Getting Published Without Querying
9 Dec
A reader writes:
At the risk of another over my head, costume-filled, insidery, confusing to poor dumbheads like me riddle–
What ever happened to that whole “there’s a better way to get published than querying” thing???
This question is a holdover from the old site, and I’m happy to see it resurface. I will start working this idea in the coming weeks. First, in order to bring our new readers up to the proverbial speed, here is the “costume-filled” parable I wrote about getting in:
Three days before Halloween you learn there will be a surprise Big Event at a small, intimate theater in your town. Tickets are free, provided you’re wearing a costume. Of course, they can’t let in everyone, so your Erotic Space Vampire is going to have to make the grade. There’s also a rumor that the people with the absolutely best costumes will be rewarded with special all-access passes. You want.
You have very little time to get your costume together, but you do your best to make it look as tight, as professional (and as fun) as possible. Thanks to some Big Event blogs, you’ve heard some rumors about what the bouncers like and don’t like. You do your best to adjust your costume accordingly, but your Erotic Space Vampire look is still uniquely you. Fingers crossed.
The big night arrives. When you arrive at the theater, you are first struck by the sheer number of people who are lined up outside. Wow. You knew this Big Event was going to be popular, but you had no idea.
First reaction: mild relief. There are some pretty bad costumes. People with sheets over their heads with holes cut in them. People with store-bought sh*t. There are even some people who aren’t in costume at all, who are obviously just wishing. Suckers.
Second reaction: mild panic. There are also some pretty amazing costumes. Elaborate costumes that you would never have dreamed would work. Basic, traditional costumes (including some classic, widow’s-peaked vampires) that are so beautifully executed that they almost seem real.
Third reaction: total panic. What’s up with all the other Erotic Space Vampires? You thought you’d be the only person with that point of view, but there are in fact several. Some are sexier than you. Others really amp up the space element. One person even brought a friend, whom they pretend to feast on. You wish you’d thought of that.
No matter. What’s done is done and all you can do is wait. Now you have time to really look around. You notice that in addition to the front door, there are several other ways to get into the Big Event.
There is a service entrance where the tech crew and support staff are busy getting things ready.
There are journalists and media types covering the Big Event. They seem to come and go as they please.
There is also a side entrance manned by a bouncer with a clipboard. Some of the people entering through the side are in costume, but others are not. You have no idea who they are, but they seem to walk right in.
Pretty soon it’s your turn to be judged. You walk up to the bouncer at the main entrance. He briefly looks you over (in your mind too briefly considering how hard you worked on your costume and how much you want to go inside) and says . . . .
***
Here’s the question:
If you knew the Big Event was going to happen in a year, would you still put your time, effort and emotional energy into your costume, or would you explore alternative methods of gaining access?
What if the show were five years away? How about ten?
(o_o)
Last time I sucked at this but here goes–
Assuming the “Big Event” is getting published, and the “bouncers” are agents, and the “costume” is your query…
I’d assume the people breezing by constume-less had some insider connection I did not. Good for them. I guess I’d work on my costume like all the other poor schmucks and hope mine was good enough.
This doesn’t really address the work itself right? That seems to be a key missing link here.
Like last time– (o_o) not sure I get this.
You’re right on the read:
Big Event = publication
Bouncers = agents/editors
Costume = query
The relative merits of the work have purposefully been left out of this thought experiment.
Um- Somehow become a bouncer and let myself in?
No! – my costume IS a bouncer costume, ala wolf in sheep’s clothing?
OR- Make my costume bulky enough to surreptitiously “pack heat” & threaten my way in?
See? (o_o)
Erotic Space Vampire, eh? Nice. If you really wanted to go to the party, enough to assume you’d still want to go in five years, you’d probably try everything and anything. Striving to calmly err on the correct side of that dedicated-desperate line. While taking in more and more info about said party. Also, seems the chances would be highest in a less-crowded entry point We’re going to talk directly about what those are, right?
(o_O)
This thread better not just die again…
I’m coming to think that the less you follow the established rules, the better. And now is really the time to explore those other points of entry.
What I mean by that: Take the magazine query. Editors want you to pour hours of work into writing that thing. So you do. Only to hear…nothing. Even if you break in, you’re still on this treadmill. On the other hand, if you have something that editors themselves desire, like a book, a buzz-generating web site, or what have you, you’re through the ropes. That’s not to say the big thing is easy, but it should not be overtaken by the treadmill. Note to self.
Well it’s tough right? I mean those not dressed in costume might be seen like they aren’t playing the game by the rules, so when it comes to enjoy the big party, they will always be outsiders. That’s how I’ve felt, as I’ve been a journalist talking to this publisher or that author or whatever you can get in. But when I’ve tried to throw myself in the ring and get these same people to look at my material, the uh, secret costume I’ve been wearing under my Clark Kent overcoat, then I’ve got nothing but polite no thank yous at best. Now I’m trying to just straight join the line-up out of some stoic masochism or something. Either way I can’t tell if my methods are the problem or if my costume is just shit. Y’know?